Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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