Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
