I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
