At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
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I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
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I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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