Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize