she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So vagazzling was a success
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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