i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I see more hoeing in ur future
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