i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
