I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
