omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
