Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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