this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
