Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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