spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
