TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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