Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize