K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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