am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize