She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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