I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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