I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
