I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
