The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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