Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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