Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
