Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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