We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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