Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
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I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
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Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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