So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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