making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize