Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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