I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
now i know why i became what i already was.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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