I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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