So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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