too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
