Don't you send me to vm
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
