after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
