I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
