I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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