Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
