She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
