i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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