For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
