I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
