come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
