In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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