im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
