Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
