Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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