Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
