No, you can still breathe under the balls.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
