when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
