I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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