someone get that fucking seahorse.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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