For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
