There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
