it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
