So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
