True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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