we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
