apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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