.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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