Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
