My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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