ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
