Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
